Mastering the Digital BreakupMaria Bettina
February 27, 2023
Thanks to technology and social media, breakups are no longer as simple as they used to be. Nowadays online interconnectedness has changed how we build relationships and has forever altered our boundaries with our ex partners. It used to be a lot easier to emotionally disentangle from your ex, as you could just rip up your polaroids of them. Nowadays you're faced with the pain of having to watch their new Insta stories every day and seeing old photos and messages from your ex can be an emotional trigger that stalls your moving on process. Sadly, we can't all afford to buy a new phone after every break up, so you gotta manually go through your phone and remove all that negative energy.
Social media is designed and presented in such a way that we always assume that people are constantly happy. Therefore, this can be deeply problematic during a breakup if you are scrolling through your ex's media. Indeed, when you're in the process of a breakup it can be overwhelming to know what you should and shouldn't be doing. But we've got you covered with some tips on how to digitally disentangle from your ex!
- Limit your contact - try not to message or call your ex. Also, as tempting as it may be, don't stalk them. It's not going to help you. Especially avoid the LinkedIn stalk, cause that's just a new low level.
- Muter Their account - if you aren't comfortable deleting or blocking their number of social media, try muting it so that they are not constantly in your face.
- Deleting Photos - this is a tricky one. Some of us will want to delete photos of our ex whereas, others may not wish to delete memories. I recommend that you look at the photos, and ask yourself how does this make me feel? That will help you decide what is best for you. In other words you wanna Marie Kondo those photos.
- Blocking/Unfollowing - do not be afraid to block or unfollow your ex. It's your social media, you can decide who you want on it. I personally do not like to keep exes on my social media as I view my social media as a closed space for just friends. Do what makes you most comfortable, you know what is right for you.
- Friends - unfollow their friends. There is no reason you need their friends on your socials. Especially since some friends can take it upon themselves to stir the pot.
- Remove them from accounts - make sure to kick your ex off of your Netflix, Amazon, Spotify etc. You don't want them leaching on you or knowing that you're binging a tv series instead of going out. Plus, you don't want them deleting anything or purchasing things on your account.
- LinkedIn - make sure you remove your ex from your LinkedIn. You don't want them following your work life etc. This is an easy social to forget about, but arguably should be one of the first platforms you remove them from.
- Erase Emojis or nicknames - get rid of any cute contact names on your phone.
- Do you really need to clear the air? - clearing the air is a weird concept. I don't get where this has come from and why a lot of people think it's a necessity. Unless you have kids, why do you have to do it? If they aren't going to be your friend and you're not going to date them again, why go through that process. Don't give anyone the satisfaction or settle their ego.
- Take your time - removing your ex digitally can be overwhelming. Bear in mind you don't have to do all these steps at once, so take your time!
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