I have heard some amazing stories from people outside the industry, about what they think goes on behind closed doors on porn sets, and let me tell you, not one of the stories I’ve heard has truth behind it! So here are 10 myths about porn debunked for your viewing pleasure!

1. **We are all riddled with STDs.** If I had a penny for every time I’ve heard this I’d be… well… I’d be richer then I am now. People associate those who have multiple sexual partners, with STDs, they assume that everyone in the porn industry is unclean because we have frequently changing sexual partners, sometimes a few in a day. What people don’t realise is that having sex with someone in the adult industry, is probably the cleanest, safest sex you can have. Not only are we well versed in our own sexual and personal hygiene, but we are also frequently tested for STDs for work. To shoot in the adult industry, performers must present a certificate of sexual health taken within the last two weeks, occasionally studios will accept 21 days for tests, but it is now common for tests to be every 10 to 14 days. We need a signed, dated certificate of health, which we can only get after a full NEGATIVE STD panel and after showing our photo ID, to make sure the cert and the ID name match. If someone tests positive for anything, all their scene partners are notified, they immediately begin treatment and they cannot work until they have a clean bill of health. We are pretty on top of our sexual health… can you, as a civilian, say the same? 


2. **Fluffers are a real thing.** Fluffers are a funny one because I believe they did once exist, a long time ago. But nowadays giving a person the job of getting the performer hard for the scene is ludicrous - here is why : an extra person on set is usually better avoided if possible just to make the day move swiftly and smoothly, an extra person to pay is almost unthinkable in the current age of internet porn, where budgets and rates are being cut left, right and centre. Most performers with penises use viagra or caverject (an injection into the base of the penis that creates a solid erection) or will watch porn on their phone and masturbate to get hard before a scene, in many cases the scene partner may assist to help the scene get going quickly. So no, we don’t have fluffers.


3. **We are horny all the time.** WRONG. Most performers have so much sex at work that by the time they get home they just want to throw on a tracksuit and watch trash TV like everyone else after a long hard day at work. Set life can be gruelling and when you feel touched out and you’ve shot a long scene, plus stills, the last thing you feel like doing is having actual real life sex. Whilst porn definitely allowed me, and many of my co stars, to live out fantasies, desires and scenarios we may not be able to in real life, it actually damaged my own personal sex drive in my private life.


4. **People do porn as a last resort, because they are too stupid to do anything else.** This couldnt be further from the truth, I have met some of the most intelligent and business savvy people, particularly in the female performer world, that left jobs as lawyers, police officers, government officials and many others for a career in porn simply for the freedom, the money and the love of sex and travel. The people I have met in this industry have PhDs and masters degrees, I have met classical musicians and graphic designers and videographers, people that take their skills and use them to create a  business and a brand in the adult industry, I myself studied audio and music production and have used that knowledge to write and produce music for high end porn movies alongside performing, I also then went onto study design and womens wear and have made my own dresses for award shows and so on… it is easy to judge those that do sex work as stupid of lazy, because that is what the mainstream media wants us to be. But we are so far from it. I have never met more professional and hard working individuals, as I have in the adult industry.


5. **Porn performers are all trafficked and abused.** Whilst I never want to cast aside the terrible cases of human sex trafficking that sadly occur globally, in the mainstream porn industry this is never the case. We have agencies and companies and ID checks, STD certificates, consent interviews and so on and so forth, everyone on set is there because they want to be there, they made the choice to do the job and enter the industry, whether it was for love of money or sex, for freedom, to be their own boss or anything else. In the mainstream adult entertainment industry we have to be focused on consent and legality at all times.

6. **All Pornstars are blonde, tan and big breasted.** As a pale 5 foot something, brown haired girl with freckles, people were often shocked to learn about my career ‘but you don’t LOOK like a pornstar’ they would exclaim! Back in the 80s and 90s the thin, tanned, blonde, fake breasts and no pubic hair look was the image of a pornstar, nowadays this is an outdated view. Porn performers come in every size, shape, gender and race. Skin tones vary, tattoos vary, pubic hair varies. Whatever you want you can find, and whatever your look is I’ll bet theres a performer out there that has a similar look to you, the industry still has ways to go in way of representation, just like every other industry, but it’s coming on leaps and bounds every day.
 
7. **Watching Porn leads to sexual violence towards women and sexual offending.** Data actually shows that sexual crimes are lower in areas with greater access to porn. Watching porn and masturbating is not pathological and does not indicate psychological problems. Several scientific research studies show that people watching porn do not have more misogynistic views towards women compared to those not watching porn.


8. **Porn creates relationship problems.** Whilst porn is an easy target to throw blame at, and it is important to talk to and communicate with your partner if you feel uncomfortable about their porn usage and explain why and how it makes you feel, porn does not create problems within relationships. Look first at what is the root of the issues - sexual shame, high morals, contempt, anger, power struggles, low self-esteem, distorted beliefs about sex and relationships, insecurities and jealousy to name a few, could be at the root of the problem that some believe is caused by porn. Once you talk to your partner, alone or with the help of a therapist, it will be easier to unravel the true root of the issues that are seemingly caused by pornography.


9. **Watching porn causes erectile dysfunction.** This is a popular anti-porn campaign slogan, but it is factually incorrect. Several scientific studies have debunked this myth, in actuality, being shamed for watching porn is much more likely to cause erectile issues, than porn itself. Those that suffer from erectile dysfunction or sexual issues may turn to porn as it is easier to explore and enjoy ones sexuality without the pressure of ‘performance’.


10. **Porn is addictive.** Scientific studies have further debunked the idea of porn as an addiction. Although it is of course true that some people do struggle with their use of pornography. But because this is not a character defect nor it is an addiction, the best thing that we can do is to stop demonising the porn industry and focus on the root issues : poor sex education, sexual shame, moralistic values surrounding porn and sex, insecure relationship dynamics, pre existing sexual conditions or simply an unsatisying sex life with a partner. The best way to work through any of these is to see a ‘sex positive’ psychosexual or relationship therapist that can help you work through any of the above!

10 myths about Porn

One of the biggest misconceptions around adult actresses is our levels of body confidence. The assumption that, because we are naked and having sex on camera we must have high levels of body confidence, is a common but misguided assumption.



Like many people, women in particular, I am overly critical of my body based on unrealistic beauty standards that I have seen portrayed in the media throughout my life. These criticisms are then verified by my ‘skinny’ obsessed mother and global news outlets mocking and critiquing every celebrity with an ounce of fat on their bones.



When I started in porn it wasn’t because I just LOVED myself so much I felt the need to flaunt my body, it was a combination of not wanting to fall into the same depressing unpaid internships as all my fellow graduates and the natural progression from stripping, which gave me good money whilst removing my clothes.



What I didn’t realize was that my body confidence, already pretty low, would get lower the more porn I shot. Here is why:



Shooting every single day. On the one hand people may argue that I should be more body confident, being booked everyday clearly means that people want more of my content! It’s a huge compliment! But shooting everyday, for years, that means shooting on my period, when I have PMS, every single little weight loss and weight gain, boobs changing sizes, shooting one days I’ve eaten a lot, shooting on days I have hardly eaten, shooting in my early stages of pregnancy (I shot solo till I was 6 months pregnant), so every little tiny change in my body is documented for the world to see, so if I feel good one day and not so good the next, both will be documented on the internet. Forever.


Trains, planes and automobiles …. And 6am call times Long flights, long train rides, early call times, different time zones, getting off a plane and straight on to a set. The traveling that comes with shooting takes its toll on your mental and physical health, it also leads to things like snacking on sugary junk food because there's no time, or nothing else available, this can mess with weight, skin, hair and general self confidence.


Fans and their opinions. If you are in the public eye in ANY capacity, people will have an opinion of you, porn is no different. Though I know I shouldn’t read forums and pornhub comments… I do… I’m not the only one either! Some fans and consumers also feel the need to point out weight changes in performers, on their social media pages. If you are one of those people ask yourself ‘Why do I feel like this is necessary’ There is nothing helpful about commenting ‘You gained weight!’ or ‘You look too skinny, eat something’ whether intended good or bad, we are human beings with, often fragile, egos and feelings.


Comparison is the thief of joy. No matter how popular, how beautiful and how successful you are in the industry there is always going to be someone hotter, thinner, bigger boobed, more successful, making more money, shooting more movies, winning more awards… You cannot be the best at everything and you definitely can’t maintain that ‘best’ forever in this industry, its too fast paced and fickle. New girls start shooting every day. It is better not to compare yourself, but also impossible, especially as your career peaks at its highest high, you start looking around at girls creeping up behind you, getting bookings that you would have liked. It’s a long hard road to that zen master technique of not caring what other people do and what they look like.


Porn these days is thankfully, a lot more diverse than it was in the 80s and 90s with every race, gender and size of human being represented. Pubic hair and natural bodies are the now, which makes it much easier to celebrate your own body as a performer and as a consumer!

Body Confidence in Porn 

Often times, as a person with a vulva, suggesting using sex toys to a male partner can be daunting, I don’t want to offend them and make them feel like their penis isn’t good enough on it’s own. The fact remains however that many many people with vulvas find it hard to climax from penetrative sex alone, that is no insult to the penis doing the penetrating, it’s just human anatomy. Sometimes sex toys can be a great way to enhance everyone’s sexual experience.

* start by discussing with your partner WHY you want to use toys, toys don’t have to be intimidating, explain you’d like to experiment using different types of sex toys to try something different. They don’t always have to be involved but make it known that you would like to try.
* As always, consent is important when it comes to any sexual activity, make sure all parties are consenting adults and remember that consent can change at any time during sex.
* When you both feel comfortable and open to trying toys, discuss which toys you’d like to try, are you into playing with gentle kink? Anal play? Dildos or vibrators? There is a wide variety available.
* Gentle BDSM and kink should be just that, establish a trust bond and start small, maybe some velcro restraints or silk tie as a blind fold. BDSM is a very delicate practice and should be approached with trust, respect and control.
* Anal play can be fun for everyone - maybe you want to try a plug or a strap on, make sure that you use condoms for sharing toys, and a lubricant that works for your body, particularly with anal play.
* Dildos again can be a fun addition to oral, as before, consider condoms for toy sharing particularly if you are moving from anal to vaginal play.
* Vibrators are my personal favourite, this can really enhance a penetrative sexual experience, by using a clitoral stimulating vibrator while having penetrative sex can make the organs longer and more intense. If you are someone who struggles to orgasm from penetration alone, discuss this option with your partner.
* Always make sure to approach any subject of new activities in your sex life with care, be sure to be open and honest with your partner and talk about what you want to try and why, listen to any concerns each other have and above all HAVE FUN!

How to Incorporate Toys into your Sex Life

Away from the glare of mainstream pornography is the private content model that allows performers and creators to control their own money. While it has many ups for creators, safety is always a concern when it comes to working behind closed doors.

For this reason it is so important to continue to test as though you are working on mainstream porn sets .



Make sure you and anyone you make content with has a test certificate dated within the past 2 weeks.
Make sure to check each other's test and IDs before shooting, EVEN if it is someone you know.
Always take photographic evidence of each other's tests and IDs and document these with your content, this helps keep everything legal and above board.
If you see something you don’t like, or a test is out of date, do not commence making content with that particular performer.
Keeping up to date with testing for private content also means that STDs don’t slip into the mainstream industry and disrupt big productions with outbreaks.


Be smart and look out for yours and others health, the same way you would on a mainstream porn set. It is sometimes easy to forget to test on time when you don't have an agent telling you to, or a booking email reminding you to. Set yourself a biweekly reminder on your phone to book your test and stay on top of it, as long as you are shooting with others!

STD tests outside the studio system

Introduction
HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) is a virus that damages the cells in your immune system and weakens your ability to fight everyday infections and disease.

AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome) is the name used to describe a number of potentially life-threatening infections and illnesses that happen when your immune system has been severely damaged by the HIV virus.

While AIDS cannot be transmitted from 1 person to another, the HIV virus can.

There's currently no cure for HIV, but there are very effective drug treatments that enable most people with the virus to live a long and healthy life.

With an early diagnosis and effective treatments, most people with HIV will not develop any AIDS-related illnesses and will live a near-normal lifespan.

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Symptoms
Most people infected with HIV experience a short, flu-like illness that occurs 2-6 weeks after infection. After this, HIV may not cause any symptoms for several years.

It's estimated up to 80% of people who are infected with HIV experience this flu-like illness.

The most common symptoms are:

raised temperature (fever)
sore throat
body rash
Other symptoms can include:
tiredness
joint pain
muscle pain
swollen glands
The symptoms usually last 1-2 weeks, but can be longer. They're a sign that your immune system is putting up a fight against the virus. But having these symptoms does not necessarily mean you have the HIV virus. Remember: they're commonly caused by conditions other than HIV. If you have several of these symptoms and think you've been at risk of HIV infection within the past few weeks, you should get an HIV test. After the initial symptoms disappear, HIV may not cause any further symptoms for many years.

During this time, the virus continues to be active and causes progressive damage to your immune system.

This process can vary from person to person, but may take up to 10 years, during which you'll feel and appear well. Once the immune system becomes severely damaged, symptoms can include:

weight loss
chronic diarrhoea
night sweats
skin problems
recurrent infections
serious life-threatening illnesses
Early diagnosis and treatment of HIV can prevent these problems.

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Causes
Sexual contact

Most people diagnosed with HIV acquire the virus through unprotected vaginal or anal sex.

It may also be possible to catch HIV through unprotected oral sex, but the risk is much lower. The risk is higher if:

the person giving oral sex has mouth ulcers, sores or bleeding gums
the person receiving oral sex has recently been infected with HIV and has a lot of the virus in their body, or another sexually transmitted infection.
People who are at higher risk of becoming infected with HIV include:

people with a current or previous partner with HIV
people with a current or previous partner who is from an area with high HIV rates
people who are from an area with high HIV rates
people who engage in chem sex (using drugs to help or enhance sex)
People with penises (PWP) who have unprotected sex with PWP
People with vulvas (PWV) who have unprotected sex with PWP who have sex with PWP.
people who inject drugs and share equipment
people who have unprotected sex with somebody who has injected drugs and shared equipment
people who share sex toys with someone infected with HIV
people with a history of sexually transmitted infections, hepatitis B or hepatitis C
people who have had multiple sexual partners
people who have been raped
people who have received a blood transfusion, transplant or other risk-prone procedures in countries that do not have strong screening for HIV
healthcare workers who could accidentally prick themselves with an infected needle – but this risk is extremely low
babies born from a parent with untreated HIV
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Transmission
HIV is not passed on easily from one person to another. The virus does not spread through the air like cold and flu viruses. HIV lives in the blood and in some body fluids. To get HIV, 1 of these fluids from someone with HIV has to get into your blood.
The body fluids that contain enough HIV to infect someone are:
semen
vaginal fluids, including menstrual blood
breast milk
blood
lining inside the anus
Other body fluids, like saliva, sweat or urine, do not contain enough of the virus to infect another person.The main ways the virus enters the bloodstream are:
by injecting into the bloodstream with needles or injecting equipment that's been shared with other people
through the thin lining on or inside the anus, vagina and genitals
through the thin lining of the mouth and eyes
through cuts and sores in the skin
HIV is not passed on through:
spitting
kissing
being bitten
contact with unbroken, healthy skin
being sneezed on
sharing baths, towels or cutlery
using the same toilets or swimming pools
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
contact with animals or insects like mosquitoes
HIV infects the immune system, causing progressive damage and eventually making it unable to fight off infections. The virus attaches itself to immune system cells called CD4 lymphocyte cells, which protect the body against various bacteria, viruses and other germs.
Once attached, it enters the CD4 cells and uses it to make thousands of copies of itself. These copies then leave the CD4 cells, killing them in the process.This process continues until eventually the number of CD4 cells, also called your CD4 count, drops so low that your immune system stops working. This process may take up to 10 years, during which time you'll feel and appear well.

‍

Testing
Seek medical advice immediately if you think there's a chance you could have HIV. The earlier it's diagnosed, the earlier you can start treatment and avoid becoming seriously ill. Some HIV tests may need to be repeated 1-3 months after exposure to HIV infection, but you should not wait this long to seek help. A GP or a sexual health professional can talk to you about having a test and discuss whether you should take emergency HIV medicine. Anti-HIV medicine called post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may stop you from becoming infected if taken within 72 hours of being exposed to the virus.

You should be able to get PEP from:

sexual health clinics or genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinics
hospitals – usually accident and emergency (A&E) departments
If you already have HIV, try your HIV clinic if the PEP is for someone you've had sex with.

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If you're positive:

‍

If you're diagnosed with HIV, you'll have regular blood tests to monitor the progress of the HIV infection before starting treatment.

2 important blood tests are:

HIV viral load test – a blood test that monitors the amount of HIV virus in your blood
CD4 lymphocyte cell count – which measures how the HIV has affected your immune system
Treatment can be started at any point following your diagnosis, depending on your circumstances and in consultation with your HIV doctor. HIV is treated with antiretroviral medicines, which work by stopping the virus replicating in the body. This allows the immune system to repair itself and prevent further damage. A combination of HIV drugs is used because HIV can quickly adapt and become resistant. Some HIV treatments have been combined into a single pill, known as a fixed dose combination, although these often cost more to prescribe. Usually, people who have just been diagnosed with HIV take between 1 and 4 pills a day.Different combinations of HIV medicines work for different people, so the medicine you take will be individual to you.

‍

Prevention
Condoms

Both male condoms and female condoms are available. They come in a variety of colours, textures, materials and flavours. A condom is the most effective form of protection against HIV and other STIs. It can be used for vaginal and anal sex, and for oral sex performed on PWP. HIV can be passed on before ejaculation through pre-cum and vaginal secretions, and from the anus. It's very important condoms are put on before any sexual contact occurs between the penis, vagina, mouth or anus. Lastly, if you are participating in group sex you must wear a different condom for each different person you sleep with/hole.

Lubricant

Lubricant, or lube, is often used to enhance sexual pleasure and safety by adding moisture to either the vagina or anus during sex.Lubricant can make sex safer by reducing the risk of vaginal or anal tears caused by dryness or friction, and can also prevent a condom tearing.Only water-based lubricant (such as K-Y Jelly) rather than an oil-based lubricant (such as Vaseline or massage and baby oil) should be used with condoms. Oil-based lubricants weaken the latex in condoms and can cause them to break or tear.

Sharing needles and injecting equipment

If you inject drugs, this could expose you to HIV and other viruses found in blood, such as hepatitis C. It's important not to share needles, syringes, injecting equipment such as spoons and swabs, or the actual drugs or liquids used to dilute them. Many local authorities and pharmacies offer needle exchange programmes, where used needles can be exchanged for clean ones. If you're a heroin user, consider enrolling in a methadone programme. Methadone can be taken as a liquid, so it reduces your risk of getting HIV. A GP or drug counsellor should be able to advise you about both needle exchange programmes and methadone programmes.If you're having a tattoo or piercing, it's important that a clean, sterilised needle is always used.

HIV prevention medicine

If you're HIV negative, you may be able to take pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) medicine to reduce your risk of getting the virus.

PrEP is available for some people who are at high risk of HIV infection – for example, those whose partner is HIV positive.

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HIV/AIDS

How to go down on someone...



Something I pride myself on is my ability to give head, no matter what genitalia is in front of me, I’m damn good at it. Why? Well, I’ve had a lot of practice to start with, both on and off camera, but most importantly, I enjoy it. I get pleasure from giving pleasure, there is nothing more exciting to me than making my lover orgasm. So I got good at it, it’s just lazy to not learn how to pleasure your sexual partner! Here are the basics to going down on someone…



Safe and consensual sex is best It is the most important rule in all sexual practices, consenting safe sex is best, so make sure you are both up for a good time before you get down to it.
Start slow Like all sexual practices it's nice to have a little build up and tease, gently nibble and kiss the inside of your partner's thighs, kiss around their lips and above their clit, feel them shiver in anticipation, you want your lover squirming and moaning before you even start to go to town on the clitoris
Washing machines are not sexy. They just aren’t, so before you get a mouthful of spit and just start slobbering like a dog all over your partner's delicate sexual opening, pull it back a bit, licking up and down can be incredibly sensual, some  may enjoy having their anus licked too but it's probably better to ask before you do this.
Find the clitoris. There are enough jokes out there about men not knowing where the clitoris is, so let’s make those jokes a thing of the past, and if you have your own vagina you should DEFINITELY know where it is! The clitoris is like a tiny pink button that sits under a hood at the top of the vulva, and this is a button that is begging to be pushed (albeit not aggressively) using your tongue to gently flick the clitoris, starting at a steady rhythm and building up speed will be a sure fire way to achieve a splendid climax.
Check the claws long nails and vaginas rarely go hand in hand, so if you happen to have a fresh set of stiletto cut acrylics on, you might want to stick to just your mouth for today
Fingers are fun That being said, fingers and tongues go VERY well together, as you flick the clitoris with your tongue, begin gently sliding one or two fingers inside the vagina (always reading the room and checking your partner is enjoying everything) angle the fingers GENTLY upwards as though you are navigating the clitoris from inside and make very slight movements (don’t just stab your fingers in and out) keep going with this gently building a rhythm, always glancing up to check all is well, until you achieve an orgasm, you will know you have made your partner orgasm when you feel the muscles of their pelvic floor contract around your fingers.


Remember that most women don’t orgasm from penetration alone, so learning the art of cunnilingus is a way to ensure that your partner has an orgasm every single time! Happy dining! You’re welcome!

How to go down on Someone

I once heard the quote ‘the best sex is in the mind at first’ and it resonated with me. Have you ever been away from your partner /lover/ fuck buddy and, knowing you are going to see each other, began sending messages describing the lust you have for each other, what you want to do to each other, how hot the sex is gonna be… you start to imagine the ripping of clothes, their breath on your skin, the moments leading up to sex… like I said ‘the best sex is in the mind at first’.

These messages, these thoughts, this is all foreplay, and foreplay is one of, if not the most, important part of pleasure based sex. So here are a few pointers on how to have the perfect foreplay, which will lead to perfect sex!

* **Hygiene first** It is nice to be clean for yourself and your partner before you engage in any sort of sexual practice!
* **Kiss everywhere** By this I mean everywhere on the body and everywhere in your environment, why leave everything in the bedroom - take it to the sofa, the kitchen, the bathroom, the car, the cinema, the restaurant. Sex can start anywhere.
* **Talk to your lover**. Tell them what you want, what you want them to do, what you want to do to them, whisper it in their ear while you breath on their neck. Trust me. Subtle touching for impact. 
* **Gentle stroking**, a finger on the inner thigh, a hand resting on a crotch, very subtle rubbing. Make your lover ache for you. You want to be as wet or as hard as possible before the sex starts. Get to the point where you can’t take it anymore. 
* **Striptease each other**. Take your time removing clothes, tease each other, make the moment last longer. 
* **Toys can be your friends**. Why not start off with a little bit of toy play, light BDSM (if that is something you're into) like silk ties and blindfolds can be fun (if all are happy and consenting and safe) vibrators, dildos and plugs can also make for nice intros and teasing each other ready for the show, or even instead of penetrative sex! Remember that the outcome doesn’t ALWAYS need to be penetrative sex.

Make sure you are both at the same place before you start. It is easy to get carried away so it always important to check you and your partner are on the same page with ANYTHING sexual. Remember that consent comes first and anything less than a ‘yes’ is a ‘no’... also remember that consent can change at any time.

Foreplay 

One thing I have come across during my years in the adult industry is foot fetish in abundance, I have never particularly liked my own feet, so much so that with my first two boyfriends I never let them see me with my socks OFF. When I started shooting adult content I realized the upkeep of my toenails and soles was of the utmost importance, a pedicure or two later and I began to get booked for more and more foot fetish sites, people would comment on videos and message me on social media, they loved my soles, my toes, my feet. I started to embrace them as more than just the things that carried me from place to place!

With my new found foot confidence came new sexual exploration, one thing I learnt very early on in porn… how to give a footjob.


* **Consent.** Let's start at the very beginning, are all parties of age and do they consent to what is happening? Good? Ok lets go… Remembering that consent can change at any time.
* **Make sure your feet are clean**. If you are someone that tends to walk around a lot without shoes on, or even if you aren’t! It’s always a good idea to make sure your feet are clean before you rub them on someone's genitals. 
* **Use lube.** It doesn’t matter how soft your soles are, lubrication is always appreciated and makes the experience a lot more pleasurable. 
* **Start slow.** Rubbing your feet against the penis until you feel it harden. 
* **You can use more than your feet if you need.** Use your feet like you would your hands when giving a hand job, if at any time you feel uncomfortable or need a break, swap in hands or mouth to switch it up. 
* **Cum is a great moisturizer**. For a little extra ending, why not let them cum on your feet and toes and rub it in, this can add to the fantasy.

How to give a Footjob 

Fingering a vagina can be the most pleasureless experience of a woman's sexual journey if not done correctly, no one wants to be stabbed repeatedly in their genitals by a pair of well wishing but clueless digits, but it is sadly, a very common event. Here are a few basic rules to allow you both to enjoy the wonders your fingers can do…

* **Consent is cool As always,** let's start with the basics, are you both down for a good time? If so then you’re good to go, remember that consent can change at any time, just because someone was agreeable at the start doesn’t mean they can’t change their mind. Keep checking in.
*  **Watch out for those nails** If you happen to be sporting a salon fresh set of claws, you might want to skip the fingers altogether, unless you can safely navigate the inside of a vagina without tearing and scratching the fragile walls.
* Start slow. I've said it before, I’ll say it again. Teasing and building anticipation is EVERYTHING in sex, the best sex is in the mind at first, let them beg for what's coming next.
* **Start  small** Unless you know this person inside out (pardon the pun) start with one finger, gently massage the outside of the vagina usinig lube or spit, before sliding your first finger inside, feel free to double up if that is something you both want!
* Massage the clitoris. ALWAYS pay attention to the clitoris, many women cannot orgasm from penetration alone, so get to know the clitoris, it likes to be rubbed, stroked and licked!
* **Get the right angle** There truly is not much worse than getting in the mood and having someone shove two fingers inside your vagina and mindlessly jab away, hold you fingers palm up as you slide them in and gently angle them upwards, move them as though you are slightly beckoning someone to come your way (pun intended)
* **Don’t be afraid to elaborate.** Use lube, spit, use vibrators on the clitoris as your finger, use your tongue, all of this will add to an even more explosive orgasm.
* **Build your speed** Slow and steady wins the race, so follow your partner's body ques to know when to increase your speed, building up a crescendo of moans until the perfect climax! You will feel your partner orgasm as their pelvic floor muscles contract around your fingers, a moment that will fill you with pride!

How to Finger Vaginally

In sadomasochistic relationships and dynamics, one party derives enjoyment from inflicting physical or mental suffering and harm on another person, who in turn experiences sexual pleasure from the pain.



It is important we talk about this dynamic when we talk about sex education to allow you to explore every corner of your desires and sexuality. But with subjects like sadomasochism, that can be inherently dangerous and cause long lasting psychological or physical damage, it is important that we break down the difference between a functioning S & M dynamic, and abuse.



**Sadomasochism is the combination of -**

Sadism is the tendency to derive pleasure from inflicting suffering, pain or harm, physically or mentally, on someone else. Often for sexual gratification.

Masochism is the tendency to derive pleasure (often sexual) from ones own pain or humiliation.



So, as you can see, the sadist and the masochist compliment each other, and if both are in agreement, and consent to what they are doing, they can exist in a mutually beneficial and functional sadomasochistic relationship - this might include a sub/dom dynamic, bondage, spanking, ball breaking, verbal humiliation, foot worship, slave and master roles.



However it is important to be on board with what you are agreeing to, if this is not your fetish, being in a relationship with a masochist or a sadist can be harmful for both yourself and your partner.



Let's take these two separate examples - if your partner is a sadist, they may feel pleasure and excitement from verbally abusing you or spanking you, if this is not something you want done, and you are not masochistic, this could cause you physical and long term mental pain and damage. Likewise if you are in a relationship with a masochist, they may wish you to treat them in a certain way, to hurt them and humiliate them, if this is not something you enjoy it probably will not be enjoyable for either of you, and on a more serious note, if it is not something you have practice in you could end up hurting your partner through bondage or spanking that you are not sure about.



The sadomasochist dynamic is a perfect fit, the two compliment each other and can have a harmonious and beneficial union for both parties, but it is a select few that fit this mold, we always encourage open conversations with your partner about any sexual desires and in turn it is important to respect your partners desires, always make sure that clear boundaries are established and that consent is always present, this can change at anytime so think about having ‘safe words’ to keep the relationship going in the right direction!

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