   One morning,  I was scrolling on Instagram ( as you do) and I came across some news that a very famous porn actress and her husband announcing the birth of their first baby.  While the majority of the comments seemed to be positive comments from what it seems like close friends, loyal fans, or others in the industry, I  was horrified to discover some of  the negative, foul, disgusting ,derogatory comments that seem to be recurring whenever someone from the industry announces a pregnancy or a marriage. And this goes without saying, but another observation I picked up was that the more famous the performer was- the worse the comments were.  

 
 A lot of the comments as I mentioned before are recurring.  It’s always along the lines of “ That kid will commit suicide because of all the bullying at school.” “ I feel bad for the kid “ “Do you know who the father is?”   “ That kid has so many dads/ this baby has the DNA from so many men! “  “ Poor child/husband “ These are some of the tamer ones. 

 Not only are these comments disrespectful  (and that’s putting it lightly), but incredibly ignorant.  This is one of the only jobs that would receive comments  like this- many people have  had previous sexual partners prior to the one that fathers their child. The only difference? It wasn’t recorded on camera for people to see. But they're missing the point – being a porn actress is a job- that’s it . You are an ACTOR. It has no bearing on how good (or bad) of a parent you would be, or even what you might be like in real life. It’s irrelevant.  It’s about as ignorant as the theory that if a woman has sex with multiple partners she must be “loose down there”…. except no one would make that assumption had they only had sex with one partner, had a “ respectable “ job (in other words, Not in the adult industry) - even if he happened to have a huge dick.  

“Are you worried that your child might found out/ what will you tell them ?  

   I would be lying if this didn’t cross my mind when I found out I was pregnant. That’s because when I got into the industry, I was younger and I wasn’t even thinking about marriage or children –I  wasn’t someone who always knew if I even wanted kids and marriage in the first place . But that changed with age, and because I met the right person who is now my husband.  I have been retired from shooting mainstream for almost 4 years now, but I know that I will still get these questions. The reaction when I announced that I was pregnant  wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the more well known performers ,but that’s only because I was a smaller creator with a smaller following-the reactions would be the same if not worse if I was famous so In a way I’m glad I’m not. I am also, out of my own choice very private about my personal life.  It is a boundary I will not cross now that Its been a few years.  I live a pretty low key life with my family, I very rarely drink or go out .. some may say these days I’m pretty boring. But I’m sure those who don’t know me will assume I’m having multiple orgies , and always going out because of the industry I choose to be in( nothing wrong with that- I just got it out of my system at a young age I guess..). Ask me anything about my sexual history and fantasies  but my personal life  outside the industry and relationships I will never discuss on social media in detail , but that doesn’t mean that performers who do want to do that shouldn’t. I appreciate that they are open enough to share such a personal, vulnerable experience so publicly – and they do not deserve any of the negative comments they get for it.  So to go back to that question, of course I am worried ,because why should someone be bullied for something that had no part in?  But I intend to raise my child to  make their own  judgments ,talk openly and honestly  about sex when they are old enough,  and if they do make judgments it  should be based on  if they are a good   PERSON and how they treat others  rather than their profession. Being in the industry, enjoying sex, having unconventional relationships ( like polyamory for example) and being a good person/parent are NOT mutually exclusive. Being an actor in the adult industry is legal, we pay taxes, have call times ,protocols and have scripts like any other  job in entertainment, so why does this judgment happen ?  


Lack of sex education –  For most of us , we had very little to no sex education. A lot of it comes  from watching porn which of course can be extremely damaging- because its fantasy and it’s not real. Real life sex is not like that- it is entertainment and it should be treated as such. It’s very easy to blame porn and porn actors when people are missing the bigger picture. So of course, it’s very challenging for people to separate fantasy and reality because this issue is not talked about because it’s so taboo. If porn was mentioned in sex education (and explained that it is NOT sex education ) porn should only be consumed for entertainment purposes by those  of age  and should not be used as  a guide on how to have sex.  This is something we hope to change with Freyja.

Upbringing and culture- We live in a society that sex is taboo and should be kept private. A lot of us were taught that sex should only be with  someone you love, you need to be married, monogamous and straight.  (I can assure you I’m in a heterosexual marriage but I am still very much bi sexual)  While this should be respected If you have these beliefs, humans are  complicated and what works for one person won’t work for another. As long as no one is getting hurt in the process, all parties are of age and are able to consent, why should it be frowned upon?  You are allowed to live your life differently and respect other peoples choices too. If you don’t like it? Don’t do it. Simple. 


   The list goes on, but if I listed them all this will become a novel so  let’s stop here.  It’s inevitable that in life, we will all get judged at some point. No one is immune to that. But it’s time to stop this narrative that just because we were in this line of work in the past ( or currently) that we are automatically deemed unfit as parents, or able  do to anything else , like having a job outside of the industry in the future should we want to change paths. . With any job, especially this industry it’s  important to have a separation of business and personal life, especially with your  children- because you don’t want them to discover porn before they have had any form of GOOD sex education ,  or this vicious cycle and stigma will continue.

"Cute children, ugly truths: What are the typical reactions when someone who works in adult announces a pregnancy?"

Are condoms required to shoot porn? Do you think condoms should be a requirement to shoot? Do you think performers should have a say?
In 2016, California, the porn capital of the world, issued a ballot proposition known as Proposition 60 which was a law that implemented condom use when filming pornography and failure to do so could result in potential prosecution. In addition,this would enable any California resident to sue and obtain personal information of the producers and actors, putting their safety at risk. Understandably, this is distressing to the those participating and producing the content, and if this law passes it would likely cost the state over 1 million dollars annually. The state and local governments were predicted to have lost millions of dollars in tax revenue per year if the whole industry were to have left the state,which would be likely if this law were to pass.
Ultimately ( and fortunately, depending on who you ask) , the law did not pass. But it almost did. 

So, the key question: Are condoms required to shoot porn? The short answer is no, if you’ve consumed porngraphy at any point , you will see that most porn actors are not wrapping it up
   
during shoots,hence why there is a strict testing protocol in place . That is not to say some production studios don’t enforce it, to cover their ass completely from legal action. Perhaps the main objection is that because porn is adult entertainment and fantasy, having a condom visible in movies may just make the fantasy seem too “real” for consumers. In addition, many actors' performance may be compromised if they were to use a condom every time they were to shoot, as well as some people having allergies to it. And let’s face it - no one really likes how they feel, it's more of a safety precaution that has to be enforced in order to protect yourself from STDS and pregnancy.
Although the majority of performers were very vocal about voting against Prop 60, there were some that were in favor. One of them was a former performer who had contracted HIV on set had voted in favor of prop 60, which raises the question- now that the law didn’t pass and productions require testing and unprotected sex, is it safe?
The 2 week testing method is a great way to ensure performer safety, but isn’t without flaws. One could test negative and have unprotected sex with an untested infected person the next day, and could potentionally pass it on to their coworkers. Unfortunately, this is an occupational hazard but a risk that a performer takes when in this job. This doesn’t happen often, and on the contrary to what people think-adult actors are still less likely to carry STDS than most people outside the industry that don’t test regularly, so we are still safer than most. The best way to tackle safety from STDS when in the industry is to be safe, honest and if you do happen to have a slip up- contact all your partners,and get tested and treated ASAP ! Even if it's before the required two weeks. And no sex with untested people- don’t put your peers at risk!
What do you think? Should condoms be legally enforced in porn? Do you think performers should have a say?



Porn and condom use 

First off, don’t beat yourself up or feel ashamed. There are a lot of stigmas attached to STDs, but what people don’t realize is that it can be pretty common! Especially bacterial infections like Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are highly contagious and anyone can get it, whether you are promiscuous or monogamous. Also, a concerning amount of people don’t know this ( you can blame the lack of early sex education for that!) you don’t even need to have intercourse to contract it-you can even get it from oral sex, or sharing sex toys! The first step when you get a positive test result is to get treatment as soon as possible, and then the hard part..
This goes without saying but the quick answer is YES, it is absolutely imperative that you disclose this to your partner(s). This may be an uncomfortable discussion but it is vital as many STDS can be asymptomatic (no symptoms), and not treating it can develop into more complications that can result in infertility, and even death in some cases (depending on the STD) . Some even have no cure, such as HPV and HSV, but medication is available to keep your symptoms at bay. Also, if you want to continue having a sexual realtionship with someone, you need to let them know otherwise they can just pass it back you, creating a vicious cycle.
Depending on where you are in the world, some doctors offices allow you to send anonymous notifications to your partner(s) that they were in contact with someone (you) who tested positive for an STD and to come in for testing and/or treatment. This way may be easier for some, but they still may be able to work out that you infected them, so it’s always better to come clean. If you have unprotected sex there is always a risk of tramission, so although it’s easier said than done always be very honest with your partner(s) when you decide to have unprotected sex, or even get tested together before you decide to do so. Not only that, but you need to have good communication and honesty about other potential partners as this will increase the risks.
Be direct and honest about the situation, and don’t pass blame unless you know they have deceived you in some way, and in that case, be strong and don’t have sex with them anymore. There are plenty of people out there who are on top of their sexual health and the right person will comply and not get defensive when asked of their status, or whether they gave it to you. Even if you are in a monogamous relationship, its important to test because (sorry to be cynical here) you never truly know what they are doing in your absence. I have heard countless stories of people putting their partner at risk because of their negligence and not having a conversation about it because it’s deemed scary or difficult.
Often times STDs get spread because many people are afraid to have that conversation because it’s not the easiest conversation to be had,but it could ultimately save you a lot of hassle and risk to your health. If someone gets defensive or is pushing you to have sex without a condom and they’re not tested, reacess whether or not you want to engage in sexual activity
with someone who doesn’t have any regard for your health. It may kill the mood, but ultimately it could save your life.

You test positive for an STD. Now what?

Anal sex is definitely that of an aquired taste. Some people love it, some have tried on
occasion and never do it again , and for some, they have no desire to even try it
whatsoever. For many of us, conventional sex is considered very tabboo so you can
imagine anal sex can be viewed. A lot of people shy away from it because of the
potential hazards that could occur ( tearing,poop,prolapse or just general pain for
example) so it’s important to be prepared if you do decide to try it out.
Firstly you have to ask yourself, why do you want to do anal? If you don’t want
to but you’re being pressured that’s wouldn't be for the right reasons. It can feel scary
and that’s okay. However, there are some perks to it. Because of it’s taboo nature it can
be very kinky, and it’s definitely a great way to spice things up in the bedroom. Also, If
it’s done well and done right- it can feel really good, as there are several nerve endings
in and around your anus, which can make some (lucky) people orgasm just from anal
play! If this is something YOU genuinely want to explore with your partner, keep
reading.
This may seem obvious, but It’s very important to be prepared! Before you even
think about having a penis or strap-on inside you, you need to be gentle, and first
engage in simple butt play before you even think about going all out. Butt plugs are
great for this and it’s best to start out small and gradually go up in size to whatever feels
comfortable and pleasurable for you . Many adult stores will sell them in sets from small
to large, and that’s a good way to “train” your butt. It’s not natural that it will fit the first
time with no issues, so it’s important not to force it but to ease into it. The more you
relax, the more pleasurable it will be and the more you will feel yourself opening up.
LUBE IS YOUR FRIEND! Your butt is not lubricated naturally, so you need to have this
to avoid injury, such as tearing- especially if this is something you want to try more than
once. Make sure you pick your lube carefully and to read the ingredients for those who
have allergies.
Another common concern for a lot of people is cleanliness. This is a very
common and natural fear especially as we all know what comes out of there, so it only
makes sense that it may get a little messy and it’s inevitable that there will be some
fecal matter- but don’t be embarrassed, you are human! . However, there are steps you
can take to make it a lot less messier than it needs to be. Firsty, make sure your bowels
are empty ( as much as you can) before getting into the shower, and rinse your asshole

out with gentle soap and water as best as you can. If your stomach is acting funky and
your bowel movements are frequent and unpredictable ( like if you are constipated or
have diarrhea) wait until your stomach is fully settled to avoid any potential accidents.
Once you’re all clean, you can use an anal enema ( or anal douche) to empty your
bowels out once again. As healthy as it is, try not to eat fiber or fruit and vegetables
RIGHT before you do it either ( or any food for that matter, only gummy bears or jello)
You can have a nice hearty meal after though.
Lastly, it’s really important that you use a condom , unless you and your partner
have both recently been tested ( definitely get tested together if you can). You can’t get
pregnant from anal, but you still can contract STDS that way so it’s very important that
your safety comes first. Anal doesn’t have to be scary, but it has to be done
right.Hopefully, this will put some anal curious people out there at ease. But remember
it’s important, especially if you’re doing this for the first time that you’re doing it with a
partner who you are comfortable with and you fully trust. This will make your first time
experience that much more enjoyable and comfortable!

How to do anal for the first time 

The purpose of intercourse is to feel pleasure ( or reproduce, depending on who
you’re talking to), but our bodies are complicated and that may be easier said
than done. From time to time, you may feel pain during intercourse. Pain
indicates that your body is trying to tell you something so never ignore the signals
that your body is giving you. Sex is not supposed to hurt, so if you feel pain it’s
important to get to the root cause.
There can be several different reasons why you may feel pain. Be sure to
rule out any infections that may be causing you to feel pain during sex. This
includes getting tested for ruling out any possible STDS. This can easily be done
at your doctors office or any sexual health clinics, and be sure to do a full check
to rule then all out. Remember if this is the case, get treated before you try to
have intercourse.
However, it’s not only STDS that could be the cause. Several different
types of infections such as UTI’s for example ( urinary tract infections) , can
also play a role, in addition to frequent sex, especially if your partner is big can
also cause UTI’s so be sure to remember to stay hydrated and to pee before and
after sex to prevent this. If you have a UTI ( bladder infection, pain during
urination ) do NOT have sex until you are clear of the infection! This will only
make it worse.
If you don’t have any infections, it could be that you are too tight down there,
which could be for a number of reasons. It may be that you’re nervous, or not
turned on enough so you’re not lubricated enough down there. The more turned
on you are, the more you’ll loosen up and it will not hurt as much. When you’re
turned on, you will relax. Remember everyone is different, and some may be
able to be naturally lubricated more than others. Other factors can play a role in
lubrication down there, such as breastfeeding which can dry you out because of
hormonal changes, as well as menopause, so if this is the case, be sure to get
some lube to help you.Engage in foreplay before intercourse, such as having
your partner perform oral sex on you, or use a vibrator or any toys you like to
make yourself cum which will better prepare you and RELAX! This also applies
to anal sex! That is key. Our bodies are designed to have sex, so there is no

reason why you wouldn’t be able to unless there are some factors that are
stopping you.
It could also just be a simple reason that you are overtired, or that you’re
small down there, or you’re with someone who is big and you’re having a lot of
rough sex so it may be your body telling you to take a break. That’s not to say
you shouldn’t have sex, but always listen to your body. Everyone is different, so
the most important thing is to do what is best for you. Remember, if you continue
to have pain, the most important thing you have to do is go see a gynecologist
and explain your situation, and they will get to the bottom of it. Don’t be
ashamed, because this is something that most of us go through at some point!

How to avoid pain during intercourse

Threesomes are definitely not for everyone. Many of us have had threesomes in our fantasies
and this is pretty common. However, there are people out there who want to actually act on it,
and many times it can be a little hard to navigate. If you’re in a committed relationship and have
never previously done it before, don’t make this decision lightly. There are several factors that
play a role in deciding if this is the right thing for you or if it’s better just as fantasy, so make
sure you know what this could mean for you and your relationship. If all the right steps and
precautions are taken and everyone is happy, it can be a very enjoyable experience.
A threesome is a sex act involving 3 consenting adults. This includes any sex act that is
performed between 3 people ( kissing,foreplay,oral sex,intercourse). This activity involves
people of any gender.Sometimes the people parttaking in threesomes can range from single
people that enjoy casual sex, to a couple inviting a third person to join them.

Like with many things, in order to have a successful threesome communication is key. It
is important to articulate what it is you want , such as what turns you on , to boundaries and
things you absolutely will NOT do. Have a safe word if you feel it’s necessary. If this
conversation doesn’t happen many things can go wrong. If you don’t feel comfortable
expressing your needs to your potential partners, then reassess whether or not this is
something you can do. Assert your desires, and be honest with what it is you want to get out of
it, but also have the conversation of potential risks that could come with it ( for example, if you
decide to do it with a friend there is always a risk that this could complicate your relationship if it
doesn't go as planned) . Always lay down all the pros and cons.
If you’re looking to have a threesome with someone you don’t already know, consider
joining an app where you can find potential partners who are looking for the same thing. Lay
down everything you are looking for, and people who are like minded will get in touch with you.
If you are a couple looking for a third party, considering making a joint account so potential
partners know you come as a package deal, and again, reiterate what it is you are looking for (
for example, a couple looking for a bisexual woman). If you’re a couple in a relationship, it's very
important you are both on the same page and your relationship is rock solid before adding a
third person into the equation. If one of you is unsure- don’t do it. It is very important that every
one involved has good chemistry with each other, to avoid anyone feeling left out,which is
always a risk with threesomes. Always try and include all the parties involved during the
threesome. It’s important to lay down what everyone enjoys sexually to make sure that
everyone has a good time!

It is totally normal to be nervous at first, there's a first time for everything. But it’s very
important that everyone is relaxed so they can enjoy themselves. Be sure to set a nice, sultry,

sexy relaxing environment. This could be playing sexy music, dimming the lights, silky sheets,
some champagne ( or a non alcoholic drink if you don’t drink) scented candles- whatever gets
you in the mood. There’s no harm in asking about the kind of environment you want the
thressome to be in either, not just the sex acts itself. Be sure to have plenty of lube on stand by,
as well as sex toys. This goes without saying, but be sure that everyone is tested even if you do
use condoms as STDS can still be spread through sexual contact without intercourse.
This may not be something that people always do and it could even be a little awkward,
but it’s important to discuss what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. This will be a good indication
of how it went, and what could improve for next time, if there is a next time. Threesomes can be
complicated and have the potential to go wrong, but if done with the right intentions and
reasons, it can be a very fulfilling experience and a great addition to spice up your sex life.

Safe threesome tips 

First and foremost, what is lube? For those of you that may not know what
lube is, it’s short for lubricant ,which is a water, gel or oil-like texture
(depending on the type, but we’ll get to that ) that is used to increase
sexual pleasure during intercourse and reduce pain during sex by reducing
the friction between body parts or sex toys. Lube is great for a variety for
reasons, from vaginal sex, anal sex, foreplay and masturbation.
There are usually 4 types of lubricants out there, and the type you are
looking for will vary depending on your own individual needs. The most
popular types include: Oil,water,silicone, and natural. There are also some
hybrid lubricants which usually consist of the combination of silicone and

water.

Water based lubricants are pretty self explanatory.They are made
primarily of water, and have different prices depending on the
brand.Because they are made of water, it gets absorbed quickly in the skin
and can dry you out during intercourse a little quicker than the other types
of lubricants. To combat this however some have aloe vera in them as well
as moisturizers to improve it’s longevity,in addition to moisturizing your skin
to prevent the dryness from occurring prematurely to improve your sexual
experience. The good thing about water based lubricants, however, is that
they are compatible with condoms as opposed to the other types of lube
which are not as compatible and cause tearing which we don’t want. They
are also most compatible with sex toys, but not if you want to get spicy in
the shower as the lube will just wash off. So if you enjoy having sex in the
bath,pool or shower, this may not be the best option for you.
Oil- based lubricants Oil based lubes are great as they last longer so if
you don’t want to keep reapplying lube, this is a great option. Some contain
synthetic oils or also have plant-based options , such as olive oil. They are
great and long lasting, however they are not compatible with latex
condoms, as the oil can cause tearing which can put you at risk for
pregnancy or STDS,therefore they are a better option for those who are in

long term relationships or with a regularly tested partner in addition to those
who prefer not to use lubricants with extra preservatives and additives in
them that other lubricants have. They are also more likely to stain the

sheets which can increase your cleaning time after.

Natural lubricants Understandably many people don’t want to use a lube
that is packed with so many chemicals. If you’re one of those people, a
natural lubricant may be the best option for you. An example of natural lube
is coconut oil. Coconut oil is great as it is very natural and there are many
uses for it such as cooking and as a lube for sex! Be mindful however that
like Oil based lube, coconut oil has a tendency to make condoms rip, so

keep that in mind.

Silicone lubricants usually almost have no water in them,which can be
good for some but not for others. They are usually safe to use with
condoms which is a huge bonus. Unlike water and oil, they don’t absorb
into the skin which causes them to have a different texture than the other
lubes. They last longer than the other types and another huge perk is that
they are hypoallergenic which means they don’t cause irritation for most
people. However, they are not so compatible with sex toys and can
damage them as the silicone is thicker and can leave residue.

As previously mentioned, different lubes are good for different uses. If you
are wanting to do anal for example, thicker lubes such as silicone lube are
better for this because the rectum is much thinner than the vaginal walls.
Water based lubes will dry you out which won’t be ideal for anal as you
don’t have as much lubrication as you would vaginally. The thicker lube is
effective at keeping the anus more lubricated to prevent tears. Anal is also
much more risky when it comes to STD transmission , so it’s best to use a
condom, but remember to pick a lube that is latex friendly so you don’t
have any accidents.

Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/es/@mamanoleas?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Gwen Mamanoleas</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/lube?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a>
  

What are the different types of lubes?

We know all bodies are built differently, and some people experience vaginal orgasm much
easier than others. Here are a few tips and tricks to increase your chances of a vaginal orgasm:

**Foreplay**. Foreplay can be underrated (or overrated depending on who you ask) at times and
easily forgotten. Don’t ignore the importance of foreplay! What type of foreplay you engage in
will vary from person to person, but the outcome is to achieve arousal.This can be a great tool,
when you’re really turned on physically and mentally, your body prepares itself by getting
lubricated (or wet) down there....why do you think that is? For penetration. This is so that the
penis ( or sex toy, whatever you’re using) can glide easier and with the right tempo, this can help
hit the spot! Also, don't be afraid to use lube either if you want to or need it. This can help with
the friction and make sex more enjoyable. This is definitely a great first step to achieving a
vaginal orgasm.

**Clitoral stimulation.** Aren’t we talking about G Spot* orgasms and not clitoral orgasms? Yes,
but many people who find it hard to orgasm vaginally find it much easier to orgasm from clitoral
stimulation. Don’t ignore the clitoris ever! The clitoris is located above the vagina on your
public bone. Usually covered by a little skin and is an extremely sensitive part of the body,
triggering very intense sensations. Clitoral stimulation can be achieved with your fingers, your
partners fingers, the tip of a penis, a sex toy or through oral sex. Try stimulating it while being
penetrated and apply different amounts of pressure and see what works for you. What also
helps, is to have a clitoral orgasm right before you have penetrative sex. Research shows that if
you already had an orgasm, it's easier and increases your chances of having another one
follow.

**Having the right angles and hitting the spot**. As I mentioned, everyone is different so this is
something you will need to take time to experiment. Take your time , and don’t rush it or force it.
The more you force and think about it the less likely your body will comply. No g spot is the
same for everyone, so you will need to be at a specific angle in order for the penetration to hit
the g spot, which leads to an orgasm. Try out different positions- for example, with doggy style
you’re at an angle where the penis or object applies the pressure to the gspot, which will help
achieve orgasm. Another way to try is to be on top, as this can help with the angle to hit the

gspot. You also have more control over the tempo , pace and pressure to help achieve climax-
all factors that are super important. Have a mixture of fast and slow tempos and see what

works for you. Don’t go too hard or slow.You don’t want your partner to ejaculate too early either
before you can even reach that point . If trying it out with a partner, always communicate what
you’re feeling truthfully and what works for you and what doesn’t. That will be the best way in
achieving your needs. As I said, It will take a lot of time experimenting to see what works for
you. You need to be in a good mind set and fully relaxed.

The takeaway: If you’ve tried and still not achieved orgasm vaginally- there is nothing wrong
with you and this is perfectly normal. Not all bodies are created the same, and an orgasm is an
orgasm, whatever method you use. Don’t be afraid to take your time with it, and if you still feel
something is wrong, you can always visit your OBGYN to make sure that everything down there
is normal and healthy and to get a second opinion. You never know, things come easier when
there is less pressure!

How to orgasm vaginally 

STDS are always a risk whenever you have sex, even if you are not having it with the
opposite sex. This article focuses on the risks of STDS if your sex is female,and you have sex
with other females or persons with vulvas. These are some ways STDS can still be
transmitted, and how to prevent risk of transmission.

This is an obvious one- always get tested before you have sexual contact with a new
partner. Although there is no risk of pregnancy here, there is still risk of transmitting
Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, HIV, HPV, and HSV (herpes) - among others. Your risk of
transmitting or contracting an STD will increase if you have sexual contact while on your menstrual cycle. Listed below are other ways on how this happens, and ways to lower the risks:

STDS such as HPV and HSV are transmitted from skin to skin contact, and others such as
Bacterial vaginosis, trichomonas, chlamydia and gonorrhea and in some cases HIV and Syphilis
can be transmitted through exchanging vaginal fluids. This can happen during oral
sex(vaginal). The same applies when a woman is giving or receiving oral sex anally. To help
lower the risk, you can use a dental dam when engaging in oral sex, which will protect you
and your partner ( or at least make it less risky) .
Not going down on someone won’t keep you 100% safe either. These stds can also be
spread from inserting a finger into the vagina- and can be transmitted this way if a woman gets
exposed to the fluids from an infected partner. For this, using thin gloves ( think OBGYN) can
help.
As previously mentioned, skin to skin contact can spread STDS ,particularly Herpes and public
lice(aka crabs). To prevent the risks, never have sex with someone with an active sore present,
as they are highly contagious. Always check to see there aren’t any open sores and wounds
present.
It’s not unusual to use sex toys during sex. However, when toys are shared vaginally, orally, and
anally, this is another way that STDS can be transmitted. This risk can be reduced by not
sharing toys. If you decide to share toys, consider using a condom for any penetrative activity to
reduce this risk, and be sure to clean them with a toy cleaner after use.

Activities where blood play is involved where you’re transmitting blood can put you at risk of
Hepatitis B,C ,and HIV. Be sure to always use clean needles, and do not share them.
Vaccination is available for Hepatitis B.
To reiterate- the most important thing to minimize risk of STD is always testing , and open
honest communication with your partner. Be sure to always test before, and if you are still
worried of possible exposure, take these precautions for extra protection- always remember to
practice safe sex!

Tips for safe lesbian sex 

A lot of us ( at least I know I have and even at one point believed it myself) grew up
believing that being fully shaved or groomed is necessary in order to stay “clean” down there.
But is that really the case?

On the contrary- pubic hair actually serves as a protective barrier for your genitalia. It
protects dirt and harmful bacteria from entering in your vagina or penis, in addition to skin
injuries caused by friction (think when you get a paper cut, will the cut be as bad if you had a
layer protecting the scar as opposed to getting a cut directly onto your bare skin?) It can also
protect you from skin infections. And while it’s not 100% guaranteed, it may also protect you
from some STDS that can be transmitted from skin to skin contact such as herpes. Keep in
mind it doesn’t protect against public lice (aka crabs) but there's no hard scientific evidence out
there to support that having no pubic hair would completely eliminate the risks of getting crabs,
either. So where did this correlation that having pubic hair was unhygienic come from?

If you have poor hygiene in general, then yes, your pubes can get musty and gross. If
you don't maintain good personal hygiene, bacteria and pheromones from your sweat and oils
from your skin gets “trapped” in your pubic hair which can cause it to smell pungent, so I can
see how many people may believe that pubic hair is directly the cause of it, but it’s not its
hygiene in general. You can be fully shaved but if you have bad hygiene, that won’t protect you
from smelling down there. That’s like putting deodorant on your unwashed body to mask your
b.o.- it is not effective. And nasty.

I also believe that a lot of it comes down to aesthetics. There is nothing wrong with being well
groomed or trimmed, or even having a brazilian (I love a good brazilian personally), but
although times are changing and the preference will vary from person to person, there has been
an expectation,especially for women as a society to be fully hairless or trimmed. And a
common argument for that is because it’s “cleaner” when that’s not the case.There is no health
reason to be fully shaved , waxed, lasered etc. And If you’re doing that, it’s purely only for
cosmetic reasons. There's nothing wrong with that, it all boils down to personal preference. But
the point is, having pubic hair DOESN’T make you any less hygienic than if you didn’t. Keep in
mind that if you do decide to get rid of your pubic hair, be mindful that your skin is more
sensitive and open to more inflammation and infections - another reason to practice clean
hygiene.

Whether or not you decide to grow out your pubes or not is ultimately up to you. There is no “one look fits all” and whether you want pubes, trimmed pubes, or no pubes at all, it’s your call!
There’s nothing wrong with switching it up either!

Rina Ellis

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